For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.
—Titus 2:11–12

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
—Romans 12:1-2

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
—James 1:19-20

~~~~~

The Beauty of Restraint
By Jennifer Kane

She wakes before the sun,
not to conquer the world—
but to lay her heart bare before the One
who holds it.

Her strength is not loud.
It does not boast.
It whispers in prayers before conflict,
breathes deep before speaking,
walks away when flesh would rather fight.

She does not wear chains,
though she tells herself “no”
more often than “yes.”
She fasts, not to impress,
but to remember her hunger
is for something more.

The Holy Spirit
is not a shadow behind her—
He is her breath,
her pause,
her stillness in the storm.
He speaks when silence is wiser
than any word.

She scrolls past envy.
Shuts down vanity.
Picks up her cross
and her grocery list,
making choices
that no one claps for
but Heaven does.

She is a woman at war—
not with the world,
but with the old self
that still begs to rule.
She does not win every battle,
but she surrenders daily,
and the victory is Christ’s.

Self-control,
to her,
is not gripping tighter—
it is letting go,
not of effort,
but of ego.
Not of discipline,
but of domination.

And in her yielding,
she is free.
Like a tree planted by streams of water,
she bears fruit in season.
Peace. Patience. Kindness.
And yes—self-control.

But not her own.

It is the Spirit’s.

~~~~~

Scriptures: Titus 2:11–12, Romans 12:1-2 James 1:19-20

Self-control. The final fruit of the Spirit.

If you’re like me, you hear the word self-control and immediately think about what you need to stop doing. Eating the whole bag of chips. Snapping at someone when you’re stressed. Scrolling way too long. Saying yes when you should say no. It feels like the spiritual equivalent of being told to “just try harder.”

But the fruit of the Spirit isn’t grown by effort—it’s grown by connection. And that changes everything.

When I first started thinking about self-control, I felt discouraged. I thought, Great, another area I’ve got to tighten up. But then the Holy Spirit gently reminded me: This fruit is not about you controlling yourself. It’s about Me living through you.

Self-control is less about me gripping tighter and more about me surrendering deeper. Less about saying no out of guilt, and more about saying yes to a better way. God’s grace, Paul writes in Titus, is what teaches us to say no. It trains us—not shames us. That means self-control isn’t a punishment. It’s a gift. It’s evidence that God is at work in me.

Think of it like this: a vine doesn’t force grapes out by willpower. The branches just stay connected. And fruit grows. Self-control isn’t about forcing out better behavior. It’s about remaining connected to Jesus, the True Vine (John 15), and letting His Spirit bear fruit in us—including this very one.

Here’s the kicker: self-control often looks quiet. It’s the choice to walk away from a fight. To leave a gossip session unsaid. To pause before hitting “post.” To shut the fridge, not because you’re “being good,” but because you’re already full in Him. It’s the quiet strength to say, “Jesus, You lead—I’ll follow.”

And yes, some days we’ll mess up. Some days the bag of chips will win. But that doesn’t mean we’re disqualified. It just means we’re still learning. Still being taught by grace. Still being grown by the Spirit.

Self-control isn’t about living life clenched. It’s about walking in freedom. Because when the Spirit leads, self-control follows—not as a leash, but as a lifeline.

~~~~~

Father God, thank You that You don’t ask me to control myself by my own strength. Thank You that Your Spirit is at work in me, growing the fruit of self-control not through pressure, but through presence. Help me to surrender, to stay connected, and to walk with You moment by moment. Teach me by Your grace to say no to what leads me away from You, and yes to the life You have for me. I give You control of my “self” today. Grow Your life in me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

April 22 2025